I am a Missionary!

President Brigham Young said, “There is neither man or woman in this Church who is not on a mission. That mission will last as long as they live…” 

David A. Bednar said “ We are missionaries every day in our families, in our schools, in our places of employment and in our communities. Regardless of our age, experience, or station in life, we are all missionaries.”

What is it then that we are sharing for our entire lives? It is the good news of the gospel. So what is this good news that we are to share with others and ourselves?

Elder Jeffery R. Holland said “The ‘good news’ was that death and hell could be escaped, that mistakes and sins could be overcome, that there was hope, that there was help, that the insoluble was solved, that the enemy had been conquered. The good news was that everyone’s tomb could one day be empty, that everyone’s soul could again be pure, that every child of God could again return to the Father who gave them life.”

“The Prophet Joseph Smith once declared that all things ‘which pertain to our religion are only appendages’ to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

March 24, 2012 I sat in the Stake President’s office. We talked about where I wanted to serve. At this point, I don’t think I honestly cared. He asked me to share my testimony. I said, “I don’t care where I go. I don’t care because it’s not about the sites. I am not going on a vacation. I am going on a mission. It is about people. Never once do you hear someone say, ‘I loved my mission because I served in Rome and got to see the Colosseum or it was just such a beautiful country.’ It is always rather oh let me tell you about this lady I met or this man I taught or let me tell you about the family that was baptized. I want to serve a mission because it IS about people. I have this fabulous gift in my life. I am where I am right now because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It has helped me on countless occasions. It helps me every day and there is nothing more that I want right now than to share the gift of the Atonement with others. That gift that when you feel like you can’t do it. When you know that you can’t do it.  And you’re right. You can’t do it—alone that is. 

Now I want to jump back a year prior to this. I had the wonderful opportunity of going to Argentina winter 2011. I was there to work on my Spanish and it just so happened that a family friend was the mission president in Cordoba Argentina. He said that they would be short a sister missionary while I was there and often they would call in locals to serve for a short time or otherwise known as a “mini-missionary” and make them companions with another missionary to avoid trios. If I wanted, I could be a mini-missionary but it was entirely up to me. I figured why not?

A month into the transfer, I found myself one night not being able to sleep. This wasn’t due to the heat that would keep me from falling asleep occasionally or the thousands of wild dogs that would bark all throughout the night. No, this was different. I had a searing pain in my back. I can remember lying there and wondering if I needed to go to the hospital. I was in tears and didn’t want to wake anyone up. As it grew closer to morning, I felt so alone. This would all be easier if I could just call my mom. Throughout the night, I prayed. I prayed that I would be able to rest. I prayed to have my Savior with me. Savior please abide with me. I knew He had suffered for me and He knew the pain I was going through. He knew the loneliness and physical pain. The pain did not subside, nor did my fever break. Instead, I did feel just a little bit of calmness. The tears stopped and I didn’t question if I could get through it. I knew that I would be ok. The next week brought an awful recovery. I had a kidney infection and despite the ruthless medication they ended up prescribing, it was not as quick of a recovery as I’d prefer. 

I returned home with story after story. My time was fabulous, but it was not easy. Living with 3 other girls? Staff Infections in both of my feet? People turned us down time after time. Kidney infection. Gossip spread. We saw a family go inactive. It was never easy, but there was so much joy from it all. I had felt my Savior’s love and I had felt His love for others BUT, I was not ready to do it all over again. Self doubt kicked in and I wasn’t even sure I could do it all again. Why was it so hard?

Elder Holland says, “ Anyone who does any kind of missionary work will have occasion to ask, Why is this so hard? Why doesn’t it go better? Why can’t our success be more rapid? Why aren’t there more people joining the Church?…

I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy...

If He could come forward in the night, kneel down, fall on His face, bleed from every pore, and cry, ‘Abba, Father (Papa), if this cup can pass, let it pass,’ then little wonder that salvation is not a whimsical or easy thing for us. If you wonder if there isn’t an easier way, you should remember you are not the first one to ask that. Someone a lot greater and a lot grander asked a long time ago if there wasn’t an easier way.

The Atonement will carry the missionaries perhaps even more importantly than it will carry the investigators. When you struggle, when you are rejected, when you are spit upon and cast out and made a hiss and a byword, you are standing with the best life this world has ever known, the only pure and perfect life ever lived. You have reason to stand tall and be grateful that the Living Son of the Living God knows all about your sorrows and afflictions. The only way to salvation is through Gethsemane and on to Calvary. The only way to eternity is through Him—the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”

My 21^st birthday came this past July and my plan of going on a mission if I were 21 and single diminished. My plans changed to wanting to graduate and move to Salt Lake with a roommate and pursue the education I had always planned on. I didn’t know what to do so I counseled with my Bishop. I was hoping he would give me a tell-all answer of which direction I should take in my life. You should stay home from a mission! He instead told me I could start my papers and maybe that would give me direction. I didn’t need to feel pressure to finish them if I didn’t feel it were right. So... I started them. Well sort of. I opened them and then just left them there. It didn’t feel right. As I read my scriptures in Doctrine & Covenants 11:16, the words stuck out to me. It wasn’t even what the verse was about, but the first words were “Wait a little longer.” That was my answer for now. 

October came around. My fears of why I shouldn’t serve were slowly dissolving. The only one that remained was, could I really do this? People know that missions are hard before they serve them, but I knew exactly what I could be getting myself into. I prayed that if I were to serve a mission that I would at least have a desire to go. I finally received an answer. I wanted to serve a mission and I knew my Heavenly Father wanted me to serve a mission.

I finished most of my papers that weekend minus the medical. My plans were to finish the medical papers the next week or so and have them in before November.

The following week something was clearly not right. My body was not functioning as it should. I was panicked and didn’t know what would happen. That is when the tears set in. That night, my brother and a friend of his came by and gave me a blessing. I cannot remember most of what was said. The two things that stuck out were “1, Your Heavenly Father loves you and He knows what you are going through. He wants you to always remember this and especially over the next little while. 2. If you have faith, you will be able to get through this.”

Great. Faith. That’s easy. Right? And there was the Atonement again. Of course HE knew what I was going through, but how long would this last? A few weeks? Well, several appointments went by. Specialist after specialist. Countless blood work and other tests. CT scans and ultrasounds of my organs….. Nothing. No one had an answer as to what was wrong.

My energy faded and life was draining. I was always in pain and it was hard to put on a brave face. One day while talking with my mom, she suggested I could always come home if I felt like I needed to. I couldn’t get the idea out of my head. It was silly. Aside from not feeling well, everything else was perfect. I read and prayed and I instantly knew. I needed to be home. Things worked out to medically withdraw from school and so I went home.

At home, life was not easy.

I pondered on the blessing I’d received 5 months prior. I needed to have faith. What did that mean? Faith! Such a vague word. What did I need to have faith in? Finally I decided what I needed to do. I was turning in my mission papers and I was going to have faith. I didn’t know what it was the Lord had in mind, but I knew one thing. He wanted me to serve a mission and He wanted me to serve now. Not back in October or July when I turned 21, it was now in March that I was ready.

I turned in my mission papers and a week and a half later, my mission call arrived. I report July 5^th to Cusco Peru. Since turning in my mission papers, I have felt great. I haven’t looked back and I have no clue why those struggles were placed in front of me. I may never know. Maybe I need to be in Peru to help with a certain person or a certain person to help me.  I don't  need to know.  Maybe I needed to learn these things at this time.  What I do know is that the Lord knows and that I grew closer to my Savior every step of the way.

I am not here to tell you today about how I am going on a mission. I am here to tell you that I am Becoming a missionary. I am becoming each and every day a little more. David A Bednar said, “ Let me be so bold to suggest that our rather routine emphasis on going misses the mark… The issue is not going on a mission; rather the issue is becoming a missionary and serving throughout our entire life with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength.” 

Over the last year, I have found that I have been given so many opportunities to become a missionary. We read about our baptismal covenants in Mosiah 18:9 where it reads “Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places, that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—” We are here to help each other and not just specific to those not of our faith, but those within it as well. The purpose of missionary work as defined in Preach My Gospel is to “Invite others to come to Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.” All of us are included in that. I have had the chance to share this with others, but most importantly, I have been able to utilize this even more in my own life the last little while.

I want to invite everyone here today to bring people closer to Christ—non-members, your family, friends, roommates, classmates, the random lady you smile to at the grocery store, even yourself. Come closer to Christ and access the Atonement in your life. I am Carly and I am a missionary.